::sigh::

::yawn::

i've been really tired lately, i think it's because i've been sick for the past 3 weeks... is that bad? maybe i have mono again... there are 4 different types of it ya know.  maybe it's because i have been around cigarette smoke constantly and i haven't let my lungs really breathe clean air.  i don't know why... i just kinda pulled that reason out of my ass.  so today i was supposed to go to the baum school early (like 8 o'clock in the morning) to get some shit done. i woke up at like 7 so i could go but i ended up falling back asleep til like 8:3o (which is the time i have to leave to get there on time for class at 9). i got to class, stayed an hour and a half extra and then went to math class. i got home from math class at 3-ish and went to bed. just woke up now.  i'm still tired. 

::depressed::

i saw john today and it made me want to kick him in the teeth, okay not kick him in the teeth but i think it seriously made me sick he acts so fake around me. i know he doesn't like me. if you don't like me, don't act like you do.  i want him to be happy and i want him to be friends and i'm glad he has his "pseudo girlfriend" and all of that shit.  then why doesn't he want me to be happy? why doesn't he want me to have friends... why did he tell our mutual friends not to see me or talk to me?  a certian person called me and asked me to go to lunch with them and do you know what they said... they told me to keep it down about it b.c they didn't want any crap from john... it's like i want to see these people but i don't want to cause problems... i was hanging out with kyle over winter break and john found out and flipped shit. since when do i have to tell him who i'm hanging out with? he said that we had no respect and no morals b.c we didn't tell him we were hanging out.  i don't want to have to ask someone permission to be with someone else.  i want to call bill and i want to hangout wiht bill one day but i'm too afraid to even call the house b.c i'm afraid that john will give him shit for hanging out with me.  he needs to grow up and stop acting like a 5 year old child. this is stuff you do when you're in elementary school. 

ugh. i have a headache now.

anyway, off to friendly's with liza and rob, i hope my day improves!

::sigh::

i'm so in love with you!

phew! it's been a while... but it's okay

i'm back with avengence!
i'm back on the right track
i'm back
i'm back
i'm back to my normal self
so take that
but i'm not back with you and that's all that counts!

i've changed so watch out world
you made me open my eyes a little wider,
thanks babe!

it's back...